Walk away from an unhealthy relationship

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I decided to stop contacting Julius who I had met online for three years. Actually it had been a thought in my mind for a long time but I didn’t have enough courage to act on it. Because the idea of having a love fantasy was simply too good. He was exotic, tall, cute and smart. We shared a lot of things in common and it went on bonding something deeply at my heart, I started to having feelings for him very soon even this relationship has been surreal. We never called or never did instant messages with each other, I suggested once but he rejected. All we did was writing excessive long emails, sharing our thoughts, opinions, fears and likes about almost everything. I confessed to him how I felt after our first and only offline meeting but he didn’t respond. The worst thing was I “allowed” his disappearing- reappearing act throughout these three years. Sometimes it was a few days, a few weeks, even a month. I was very upset when he did this because I felt unmost disrespected, but I was too afraid to “lose” him. I couldn’t let go of the feeling of being understood, connected and vulnerable to someone.

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Yes, I always suck at love

Have you ever sat alone and thought about why you are good at socializing and meeting new people, why you are good at writing and painting, why you are good at solving problems at work and earning trust from your clients, why you are good at learning languages and passing different exams, why you are good at mastering new skill sets and exploring interesting things…

Yet, you are always bad at love, you suck at loving someone.

Well, good news is, you are not alone. Because I am here with you, right here.

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Get over a person who you like

Few weeks ago a guy who I met for three months said goodbye to me in the middle of an argument. I was ”silly” enough to develop a feeling towards him in such a short time and we didn’t even meet. I heard many people saying, just let him go and go on with your life. I couldn’t, how could I? My head was full of confusion, disappointment and anger. I texted him again and again and again for an answer, yeah, that’s me. But I deserved an answer from him, as everyone deserves a reason if they were left out like this.

Eventually he replied me and said something that I would never forget in my entire life:

I don’t know why you have made this so difficult. 

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One thing I learned from people that I liked

Every time when I feel a relationship is going to break apart, when someone I like is fading away from my life, it feels like I am trapped in a box, cannot breathe, cannot run away and cannot see anything.

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When someone cut off contact with you completely

Few days ago, I asked this question among people and I was so surprised to know that there are/were many people having the same situation. Some people said, we were getting along very well, but he suddenly just ghost on me, but I won’t reach out to him if he didn’t , he knows where to find me; I did this to a guy before, and few months ago, I was ghosted, it broke my heart, now i know how that felt. I will never do this to people again…etc.

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