I once read a quote about the best mindset in love, which is:
everything I have given to you is voluntary, I won’t complain anything about this. If you love me back, then I will appreciate, but if you feel nothing in return, I won’t be discouraged either. If someday I won’t love you as much as I did, then let’s set part and live happily to our own.
I have fallen in love a couple of times in my life. Every time I was being complete honest and open. But I was connected very deep with my insecurities, so I was being also very fragile and hysterical. I had met a guy who I thought liked me and was honest with me, turned out to be the biggest lair in my life. I was shocked to find out a guy who claimed liked me and not in a relationship actually is in a long term relationship and was engaged for a long time. I honestly couldn’t know how he managed to balance the real life and the fake life for such a long time. Aside from impressed by his masterful lying skill, I feel tremendously sorry for his fiancé who loves him and trusts him.
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Every time when I feel a relationship is going to break apart, when someone I like is fading away from my life, it feels like I am trapped in a box, cannot breathe, cannot run away and cannot see anything.
At high school, I met the first boy I truly liked, he was the cutest boy I ever known, with the warmest smile I ever seen. I spent four years liking him, but I was too shy to express my feeling to him; Then I met another boy at my early 20s, for a long time, I thought he was my soul mate, I learned to express my feeling to him, he inspired me to be a better person, but I was so insecure, I was worried all the time that he would walk away from my life some day; In the mid of my 20s, I had a crush on another boy for two years, I know how to express my thoughts and feelings, I was no longer insecure and I learned to be patient, but I realized there won’t be all boys that having the same connection with you; So soon, I am at my late 20s, I met a boy who I could talk with, there was no insecurity, there was connection, but there was another thing I never face- arguments and hurts, constantly.
Continue reading “One thing I learned from people that I liked”
In the film ‘Medianeras’, Mariana has a children’s book named ‘Donde esta wally’. Wally is a boy wearing glass and red/white stripe long sleeve shirt, he is everywhere, at coffee shop, train station, beach, he is walking with his dog, carrying a bag, buying stuff… but he is hiding in the crowd, all you need to do is finding him.
Mariana is also looking for Wally. She works as a shop window designer in Buenos Aires, living at a flat that has no window, just broke up with her four-year boyfriend, because one day, when she looked at him, she realized she had been living with a stranger for four years, she removed the memory by deleted all the photos with him, and the weight of this memory is 36.8MB.
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This is one of the biggest cliché topics in relationship. Yet for such a long time, we never have an definite answer for it. I have been there for a few times, wished I could find a pill to take then I can erase the memory with this person. Rather to think of something unrealistic, I realized there are some paths that I can take to go over someone who doesn’t like me back. Here are ten paths I found from the last experiences and hope it will put some insights to a girl or a guy who is going through a crush situation.
Whether he or she is a new friend in town, or a cute co-worker, or one of your closest friends, even someone who already in a relationship. Just tell them. This is the only way to get them out of your system. But think it through before your confession, it doesn’t need to be fancy, just tell them how you feel. No one in this world, except a psychopath, will be annoyed by a decent and authentic confession.
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“it WAS maybe the direction because under the lies there is always a part of truth.”
French director Francois Ozon’s ‘Frantz’ tells a story of a german girl Anna, whose fiance Frantz was killed during first world war. One day on her path to Frantz’s grave, she saw an unknown French young man Adrien was bringing flowers and weeping in front of his grave. This French man claimed he was a friend of Frantz, it turned out it was him who accidently killed Frantz during the war, he came here out of guilt and is looking for forgiveness.
Continue reading “‘Frantz’- I forgive you and I leave with dignity”