The best mindset in love

I once read a quote about the best mindset in love, which is:

everything I have given to you is voluntary, I won’t complain anything about this. If you love me back, then I will appreciate, but if you feel nothing in return, I won’t be discouraged either. If someday I won’t love you as much as I did, then let’s set part and live happily to our own.

I have fallen in love a couple of times in my life. Every time I was being complete honest and open. But I was connected very deep with my insecurities, so I was being also very fragile and hysterical. I had met a guy who I thought liked me and was honest with me, turned out to be the biggest lair in my life. I was shocked to find out a guy who claimed liked me and not in a relationship actually is in a long term relationship and was engaged for a long time. I honestly couldn’t know how he managed to balance the real life and the fake life for such a long time. Aside from impressed by his masterful lying skill, I feel tremendously sorry for his fiancé who loves him and trusts him.

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One thing I learned from people that I liked

Every time when I feel a relationship is going to break apart, when someone I like is fading away from my life, it feels like I am trapped in a box, cannot breathe, cannot run away and cannot see anything.

At high school, I met the first boy I truly liked, he was the cutest boy I ever known, with the warmest smile I ever seen. I spent four years liking him, but I was too shy to express my feeling to him; Then I met another boy at my early 20s, for a long time, I thought he was my soul mate, I learned to express my feeling to him, he inspired me to be a better person, but I was so insecure, I was worried all the time that he would walk away from my life some day; In the mid of my 20s, I had a crush on another boy for two years, I know how to express my thoughts and feelings, I was no longer insecure and I learned to be patient, but I realized there won’t be all boys that having the same connection with you; So soon, I am at my late 20s, I met a boy who I could talk with, there was no insecurity, there was connection, but there was another thing I never face- arguments and hurts, constantly.

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How to get over a crush and rejection

This is one of the biggest cliché topics in relationship. Yet for such a long time, we never have an definite answer for it. I have been there for a few times, wished I could find a pill to take then I can erase the memory with this person. Rather to think of something unrealistic, I realized there are some paths that I can take to go over someone who doesn’t like me back. Here are ten paths I found from the last experiences and hope it will put some insights to a girl or a guy who is going through a crush situation.

1. Confession:

Whether he or she is a new friend in town, or a cute co-worker, or one of your closest friends, even someone who already in a relationship. Just tell them. This is the only way to get them out of your system. But think it through before your confession, it doesn’t need to be fancy, just tell them how you feel. No one in this world, except a psychopath, will be annoyed by a decent and authentic confession.

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I confessed to my crush, and will always do so

Few weeks ago, I ‘suddenly’ confessed to my crush, who I have feeling for almost two years. It was not planned, even though I did think about multiple times that I needed to confess to him, I mean, how bad it can be? He is only my co-worker, someone I see almost every day. But I needed to get him out of my system, this will not be the first time I confess to a guy, but I still chickened out. I looked for ‘supports’ from all sources I could find, the answers I received were mostly:

“no, girls should never confess to a guy, if he likes you, he will come to you.”

However, one night, when I was sending him a text, asking random questions,  suddenly, an unknown impulse raising up

“Screw it! I need to tell him.”

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